So they finally ended with “Kyunki…” the other day. I hear there was widespread panic and chaos on the streets. Bulletproof thickness saree and makeup vendors went on hunger strikes across the nation, genealogists the world over finally took an easier breath. Hell… even (k)Ekta probably didn’t have to go to bed wondering about who to impregnate next.
But it got me thinking… what now? I don’t think the single largest phenomenon in the Indian TV industry would go away simply like this. No… it would have to linger like any self respecting bad rash.
A new channel is just the beginning. I can see whole assembly lines jammed with products screaming “decadent society” with the “Baa” soundtrack playing full blast in the background (I obviously hate the fact that even my imagination is showing me triple takes of the aforementioned assembly lines)
What can we come to expect? Hell… only the uncertainty principle knows. But I thought of a few such knick knacks during my free time… Here goes….
The Mihir Kondom
Guaranteed to malfunction. Paternity and all its benefits are never that far with one use of our celebrated contraceptive device.
Expect one new off-spring showing up every 3 to 4 episodes… Err… days.
Baa anti-aging creams
Now that previously unassailable age of 210 is not that difficult to achieve. Or hide. Remain young forever. Torture even your great-great-great grandkids with stupid jokes and flower wilting background music.
Tulsi action figures
As good with a six shooter as they are with a soup ladle. This is just what you need for the persistently dissatisfied “confused about his sex” kid. Also come highly recommended for those who’d like to have the (by now) highly deserved pleasure of breaking off her arms and legs.
Script toilet paper
Tired of your toilet paper roll running out just when you need it the most? Fear no more. These new toilet paper rolls can be extended indefinitely, just like the script of our favourite-favourite show. And the extension is no longer limited even by context, relevance and common sense.
Not to be confused with toilet paper script or script in the toilet.
I’d come up with more… only I’m afraid of the marketing blitz I’d end up unleashing upon the unsuspecting public. And God knows what they’ve had unleashed upon themselves already.
sarcasm at its best. as ever. cheers \:o)